


Help Me Disappear

by Mistflyer1102



Series: Help Me Live [1]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Arranged Marriage AU, Developing Relationship, First Meeting, M/M, Mentions of Bondlock
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-22
Updated: 2014-09-02
Packaged: 2018-02-14 05:27:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2179629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mistflyer1102/pseuds/Mistflyer1102
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In an effort to avoid becoming a political pawn, Q escapes home the night before the wedding that his older brother, Mycroft, had arranged with an anonymous individual.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Need a hand?”

“Yes, thank you,” Q said, accepting the extended hand and allowing the well-dressed man to help him off the Eurostar and onto the platform in Brussels; despite the early hour, people still swarmed in the train station around the two of them. The man— _blond_ , _heavy build, must do something physical for either his job or has regular physical training_ —smiled at him, blue eyes bright as he stepped back to grant Q room on the platform. The man had been standing on the platform when the train pulled in, leaving Q to believe that he was either waiting for a family member or about to board himself. “Thank you, sir, for your help,” Q said as he pulled away to leave, one hand resting on the bag that contained his computer and one change of clothes.

“Wait, are you all set?” the man asked, reaching out to catch Q’s shoulder.

Q snorted. “Unless you can somehow call off two, overbearing older brothers or help me disappear, I’m afraid there’s not much else you can do for me,” he said before lowering his shoulder to shake the man’s hand off. “That and I don’t want to distract you from your reason for being here at the train station,” he added over his shoulder before heading to the exit.

The man reappeared at his side a second later. “My reason for being here missed the train in Paris, so he’s coming later this morning,” he explained, keeping pace with Q. “French isn’t exactly his strong suit, he apparently misread the entire schedule.”

Q grinned despite himself. “Q,” he said, offering his hand.

“James,” James replied, accepting the hand and shaking it. “Now, if you don’t mind me asking, why are you so intent on disappearing from your brothers?” he asked, keeping his voice light as they left the station. Rubbing an ear, he stuffed his hand almost immediately back into a pocket as he said, “Disappearing isn’t quite as difficult as you might assume, especially if you know how your hunters operate, but reasons for wanting to disappear are usually extreme.”

Q glanced at him, wondering if it was too early for Mycroft to have assembled someone to hunt him down and bring him home. James seemed too much of the businessman-type to be a bounty hunter. He hesitated, and then said, “I don’t know, I don’t want you to get into trouble.”

“Q, usually I am the trouble,” James said with a slight smirk as he nodded towards a nearby café. “Can I bother you with breakfast? I haven’t had a chance to eat yet.”

“Same here,” Q admitted, following James and sitting down across the small table form him. “What brings you to Brussels?”

“Business, I work in international shipping,” James said, leaning back against his chair as he watched Q. Q thought he heard the familiar minuscule  _crunch_  that accompanied just-flattened small electronics, but dismissed it as a hallucination to exhaustion. “You?”

“Unemployed at the moment, will be looking for work once I’m confident that my brothers aren’t hunting me anymore,” Q said, scrunching his nose up at the thought. Leaning forward, he said in a low voice, “They, erm, wanted to marry me off to someone with in the British intelligence community, and I didn’t want to go through with it.”

“Arranged marriage,” James said, nodding slightly. “Is that why you want to disappear?”

“Well, my older brother has been trying for  _years_  to get an obedient minion into the intelligence community, but both Farrows from MI5 and M from MI6 aren’t stupid, they’re careful to keep him and his influence out,” Q explained, brow furrowing at the memory of the last row he’d had with Mycroft just prior to escape. “I’m…I was the only unmarried sibling, and since my brother approved of the final selection, I can only imagine what the man must be like.” Casting his gaze down to the table, he said, “The man must be either meek enough for Mycroft to bully into doing his bidding, or an influential member of the intelligence community, which my brother can use me against my partner to influence either MI5 or MI6…I can’t do that to my partner, he would have done nothing to deserve my or my brother’s treatment of him.

“I’m surprised your brother isn’t worried about a double-cross from the intended,” James casually remarked as the redheaded waitress arrived with two menus. “And what do you want to do?”

Q waited until the woman left before turning back to James. “Just work on my gadgets and creations. I work in computer programming and development, and accept commission requests,” he explained, shrugging with one shoulder. “Normally, my brother would let me work unmolested, but, well, given the circumstances…”

“Do you think your partner would have let you continue working?” James asked quietly, head tilted in curiosity.

“Well, I’d like to think so, but again, my brother approved of the match. I don’t know who it is, but if my brother approved of him, there had to have been an ulterior motive somewhere in the decision,” Q said, picking up the menu in front of him. “What about you? Are you married?” He flushed after the question; aware that James’s marital status wasn’t any of his business.

Instead of commenting on it, James merely chuckled before picking up a menu himself. “No, single but looking forward to the day when I can be with someone. I’m not home very often, but it would be nice to return to somebody who isn’t immediately repulsed…I lead something of a dynamic lifestyle,” he said, glancing at Q for a moment before going back to his menu.

Q smiled softly as he raised his own menu. “Well, it certainly doesn’t sound boring,” he said, unable to shake the grin. “But you mentioned you knew how to disappear.”

James winked at him before he said, “Disappearing is something of a specialty of mine, it drives my superiors mad each time I do it.”

“Well, good to know I’m in experienced hands,” Q said, going back to his menu.

“In more ways than one.”

It took Q a moment to catch on. Then he flushed, ducking behind his menu as he caught the full implications in James’s teasing tone.


	2. Chapter 2

“That’s all there is to it? Just change a few things and then vanish?”

“Well, as I mentioned earlier, it takes effort depending if you want to be caught by a certain person, or don’t want anyone connected to your old life to find you,” James explained as they walked along the Canal Bruxelles-Charleroi, bundled against the early summer evening air. “Take Alec, for example,” he said, mentioning the friend that had missed the train earlier that day; Q hadn’t minded waiting with James for Alec’s arrival, it gave him an excuse to talk to James more. “Alec leaves a false trail for our supervisors to follow if he feels like it, but also vanishes completely only to reappear a week later.” He frowned, and then glanced over his shoulder. “Speaking of the git, where is he?”

“Getting cozy with the brunette from the restaurant at dinner, he said we could go ahead,” Q said, glancing at James, who sighed.

“Of course he did. Well, he can pay for his own hotel room tonight. Speaking of which, that’s the other aspect. Money is difficult to obtain, and is the primary reason people are eventually caught,” James said, carefully glancing at Q.

“I have enough to last me until I can settle down somewhere, preferably on the Continent. I can’t stand flying, and a trans-Atlantic cruise does not sound agreeable,” Q said, staring straight ahead in an attempt to not cave and admit that he’d fled England with no other plan except  _escape_. “I can do programming somewhere, just a quiet little place on my own.”

James nodded once, almost absently. “In which case, may I offer a free night in the hotel?” he asked, catching Q completely off guard. “No catches, just a night to help tide you over a little longer,” he said, moving so that they were facing each other. “I already have a room for the week, and I can always stay with Alec. That way, you can get some rest, and any hunters might pass you by since you were last seen traveling alone.”

Q nodded, aware that he may never get another opportunity such as this. “Thank you James, for everything, really,” he said, following James as the latter moved to hail a cab. “If there’s anything I can do to help you, simply mention it.”

James nodded. “I’ll keep that in mind,” he replied as the cab pulled up to the curb.

Q was nodding off by the time the cab arrived to the hotel, and allowed James to wrap a hand around his waist, holding him close as they entered the lobby and began to approach the lifts. Q unconsciously tucked himself closer to the comforting warmth as he turned his nose closer to the thick folds of James’s coat.

“Mr. Bond? There are two messages for you from Universal Exports.”

James abruptly stopped at the receptionist’s voice, Q jolting awake at the sudden motion. “I’m sorry, one moment,” he murmured softly as he gently pushed Q back. “Duty calls,” he joked before heading over to the desk. Q hugged himself as he watched James collect two envelopes before rejoining him. “Last minute reminders for the conference I have to go to tomorrow,” James said by way of explanation, placing a hand on the small of Q’s back to guide him back onto the lifts.

“Universal Exports? Is that where you work?” Q asked curiously as the lift ascended.

“Yes, but like I mentioned earlier, it’s dynamic enough to cause problems,” James said as they stopped on the seventh floor and stepped out. He glanced down at the two envelopes, and then said, “Yes, this one is definitely junk.”

Q glanced at the blank envelopes, but stopped when James gently caught his shoulder in front of a door. “I don’t know, I don’t want to turn you out especially since Alec has a friend…” he began slowly.

“Don’t worry about it, he won’t bring her home since he’s working,” James said as the two of them entered the neat but small hotel room. He paused in the doorway as Q moved in, gingerly setting his bag down. “You can stay as long as you like, but I’ll be leaving the hotel at around seven, early start and all,” he added as he studied one of the two missives before folding it and tossing it into the rubbish bin.

“I won’t stay long, I just need to figure out where I’m going and whom my brother sent to hunt me down,” Q said, pulling his laptop out. “Although, I wouldn’t put it past him to keep it off any electronic record.”

“See? You’re already thinking ahead of him,” James said, grinning as he tossed the second missive. “I’ll be right across the hall, I just need to make sure Alec is back and then I’ll return to take a few things back.”

“You’re sure about all this, right?” Q said, hand tightening on the bag straps.

James winked. “Of course, I always know what I’m doing,” he said, smirking as Q grinned despite himself. “If you need anything, let me know at any time.”

“I won’t keep you up,” Q said, moving to unpack.

“I won’t mind if you do,” James countered, grinning at Q’s flush before slipping out the door.

Q leaned on the bed, trying to regain some control of himself as he bowed his head, aware that James could be the last, kind individual he’d meet on his run south. But disassociation was better in the long run because Mycroft’s wrath would fall down on James for aiding and abetting in Q’s escape. Q didn’t dare tell James his brothers’ names, in case James rethought the risks of helping the sibling of a high-profile government official, one who could ultimately kill him for that act alone. James could have plausible deniability if Mycroft caught up to him; hell, Q could go back through any CCTV and erase any footage of the two of them together, simply to help James escape repercussions.

Shaking his head, he moved to start unpacking what little he had, deciding to go out later and find out if there was a laundry machine here to clean his current clothes to wear again the day after tomorrow.

 _Crinkle_.

He looked down to find that he’d stepped on one of the two missives, which had fallen out of the rubbish bin. He leaned down to pick it up, catching the words ‘ _Change in objective: immediate effect_ ’ as he started to toss it. He glanced towards the door, and then opened the missive altogether, a quiet alarm in the back of his head:

_Agent 007:_

_Change in objective: immediate effect. As more time passes, Holmes is more likely to bow out of the agreement and I will be damned if we lose this one. All nine agents are to be deployed in your general vicinity to keep the boy confined until he agrees to return to London. Force is authorized as last resort. –M_

Oh.

Oh, shit.

Trying to breathe slowly, to keep his heart from rapidly beating in panic, Q shakily set the letter down as he tried to think back earlier that day: James conveniently where Q would get off, friend got in late— _MI6 didn’t know which station Q would end up at_ —James surprisingly sympathetic to Q’s ordeal, and had offered gentle suggestions of Q’s next course of action. He didn’t know what deal Mycroft made  _now_ , but the fact that Q hinged on two deals—this one and the marriage with the stranger—made Q less willing to go home and be someone else’s pawn and method of payment. And of course Mycroft would hire MI6 agents; the Double-Os were legendary in their own right, had very low failure rates, and if anyone knew how to disappear, it would be one of them.

_Fuck, fuck, fuck-_

Setting aside the sting of numb hurt and betrayal— _James never owed me anything anyway, I really should have seen this coming; of course they send the charismatic one, they’re the ones to watch out for_ —Q stuffed the missive back into the rubbish bin, flinching when he heard the doorknob turning.

_Fuck, of course James would return now._

Q shakily inhaled, hoping that his acting skills would be enough to get him through the next few minutes; he could escape late into the night when he was sure that James and Alec were both sleeping and try to run as far as he could before stopping again for sleep. Then hide so that he could rest without forever checking over his shoulder for Double-O agents ready to drag him back to the prison that was his home and eventual marriage.

_This is my life now._


	3. Chapter 3

“James, we need to talk, this is getting ridic-”

Q blinked when the hotel room door opened and Alec abruptly stopped talking when they made eye contact. For a moment, the other man hovered in the doorway, green eyes darting around the room for a few seconds before settling on Q again. He tilted his head before he said, “I apologize if I startled you. Is James around here somewhere?”

“Yes, he just left for your room, looking for you,” Q replied, silently noting that Alec’s female companion had disappeared:  _was she in on it as well? There are nine agents, who is to say that at least one is a woman?_  “He, um, said I could sleep here tonight and he’d stay with you,” he explained, sitting down on the bed as he folded his hands on his lap to keep them from shaking.

Alec nodded, frowning slightly. “Are you all right?” he asked bluntly.

“Yes, just tired and unsure of what I’m going to do tomorrow,” Q lied, proud that his voice didn’t shake even if his heart thudded in his ears. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to get ready for bed, James will be back in a moment to-”

“Actually, I’m back right now,” James said, shouldering Alec aside to get into the room. “Stole your duvet and chair,” he said, glancing at Alec briefly before turning to Q. “Will you be comfortable here tonight?”

“Yes, thank you,” Q said, hating how his mouth went dry when he realized that definitely one, possibly two, highly-trained killers blocked his only exit route from the room. “I may look for a place to wash my clothes once I change, so that I can use them tomorrow.”

“Do that in the morning, the staff may be able to better help you,” James replied with an easy smile as he took a few clothes from a bureau drawer and tossed a kit to Alec, who caught it with practiced ease. “Like I said, you’re welcome to stay as long as you would like, and we could talk after the meeting, it’s only an hour long.”

Q nodded, smiling faintly as he watched James move back towards the door before he blurted out, “Good night!” and felt his face flush a moment later.

James smiled at him, surprisingly warm for an infamous Double-O (how many times had Q heard Mycroft curse the man to Hell and back for some reason or another?) and Alec quietly excused himself as James inclined his head slightly before he said, “Good night Q, and if you need anything, I’m right across the hall. Just knock.” Then he turned and left altogether.

Q waited until he heard the definitive  _snap_  before exhaling sharply.

A quick glance at the clock revealed that it was nearly midnight, but Q knew better than to assume that both men would go to sleep immediately. He reached down to check the other missive to see if M had sent further instructions, but only found a single line— _007, please be careful with what you have left of your equipment! –M.Boothroyd—_ and scrunched the paper up and tossed that back into the rubbish bin before padding quietly to the door and glancing through the peephole. Finding only an empty hall in front of his door, he headed back to the bed and stuffed the two pillows underneath the duvet to make it appear as though he still lay asleep. Then he changed his clothes, bundling up his dark trousers and placing it carefully where his head would be. Q glanced longingly at his satchel, wishing he could take his computer with him, but suspected it would slow him down in the initial run. Then he moved to the light and turned it off as though settling down for the night, lying next to the dummy on the side closest to the door just in case James attempted to check on him.

He must have dozed off; when he jolted awake, his heart thudded into overtime at the overwhelming  _darkness_  that met his eyes. Then he sat up, glancing at the clock to find that it was almost three in the morning. Rubbing sleep out of his eyes, he slipped off the bed and checked through the peephole again, satisfied to find that the hall was still empty.

 _Now or never_.

Q slipped out into the hall, careful to close the door and step to the opposite side of the hall, moving to the right of Alec’s door to stay out of view of the peephole. Then he took his shoes off to pad down the hall in his socks, heading straight for the stairs to avoid summoning the  _noisy_  lift and risk catching James’s or Alec’s attentions. He crept down the stairs, his lie prepared— _I’m looking for the ice machine—_ in case he ran into a hotel staff member.

He was halfway down the hall when he heard the door open behind him, and Alec stepped out, evidently going to check on him. Just by chance, Alec glanced down the hall and spotted him standing there.

For a moment, neither man said anything. Then Alec barked, “ _James!”_

Q ran.

Bypassing the lift, which would take time, he made for the stairwell, aware of the rapid footsteps behind him. Once inside the stairwell, he slammed the door right as Alec arrived, throwing his weight against the door as Alec tried to push it open. Q saw James moving out into the hall in that moment, and then abruptly jumped back, allowing Alec to fall through towards the ground. Then he turned and ran, taking the stairs two at a time and only picking up speed once he heard Alec thundering behind him. He turned his attention forward, fully expecting to meet resistance at the bottom.

At first, nothing happened when he arrived to the bottom. He slammed the door shut, using the front of the shoe to jam the door and keep Alec out of the fight. Then he turned and ran, nearly colliding with a hotel employee who neatly wrapped a hand around his waist and began hauling him back towards the lifts.

In his panic, Q twisted and sank his teeth into the man’s clothed arm.

 _“Fuck!”_  the employee bellowed, abruptly releasing Q and stumbling to the side as Q darted for the lobby. The lift doors opened in that moment, and Q had seconds to twist and avoid James’s lunge for his torso. “James, _catch!_ ” the employee shouted, catching Q’s attention for the split second and he saw the employee toss something to James. James turned to reach for the gun, but Q impulsively darted forward to throw him off, shouldering him in the ribs to knock him to the side so he could kick the gun out of reach. James grunted, flipping quickly to try and grab Q’s ankle, but Q danced away before ducking to snatch the gun and aim it first at the other employee, and then at James when the latter moved again.

_Click._

He closed his eyes, and then glanced to his left at the brunette receptionist— _Alec’s paramour_ , he realized—leveled her own gun at Q. “It doesn’t have to end like this,” she replied crisply as they heard a  _thunk_ , and Alec stumbled into view, still slightly red-faced from fighting with the jammed door.

Q shook his head, suddenly unable to meet James’s eye as he aimed the gun back at its original owner. “I-I can’t go back,” he said, shaking his head as he began backing away from the four of them. He looked at James and said, “I can’t. I appreciate your help earlier today, if that’s what it really was, but I’m not going back.”

“Q…” James carefully pushed himself up, but remained crouching. “Q, there is a way we can negotiate…”

Q shook his head, still retreating, noting that the brunette had slowly lowered her gun, even tossed it over the side of the desk as she tried to mask the lingering fear on her face. “No, no, no negotiations. You can tell M that she can get someone else to secure her deal with Mycroft,” he said noting James’s flinch. “I’m done, I’m not going back.”

“Q, listen, yes, there is a deal with Mycroft, but you don’t understand-” James began.

 _“No_ , no more lies, do you understand?” Q asked quietly, stumbling when he backed into the glass doors of the hotel. He used one shoulder to push a door open, watching James carefully even as the agent moved into a crouch, blue eyes watching his instead of the gun. Q didn’t know how, but he just  _knew_  that the second he slipped through the door, all four agents would immediately pursue him.

M wanted him, evidently alive, yet allowed the use of authorized force.

_Time to put her orders and resolve for my capture to the test._

It was stupid and potentially suicidal, but if running meant that Q had a chance for freedom, he’d take it.

With one last look at James, who looked oddly desperate but mostly determined than Q would have ever guessed for him in this situation— _Why does he care? He doesn’t have the same stake in this that I do—_ Q pushed the doors open with his back and stole down the pavement, silently cursing himself for losing the shoes.

_Hide first, escape first, worry about everything else later._

Q knew the four agents would be right behind him.

_Which begs the question of where the other five are, and what they look like._

_Please let me survive this night._


	4. Chapter 4

Q ran blindly through the night until his lungs burned.

He finally slowed down near a small forest— _Bois de Samme_ , if he remembered the city maps he’d studied earlier on the train correctly—and moved out of sight from the chateau that he knew was there before collapsing in exhaustion, the lights from the distant building— _L’Orangerie de Beauval_ —being the only thing to pierce through the darkness of the trees. He suspected that this was about as safe as he could get; only two roads—one of them being the one he’d entered in—cut through the forest, and as long as he stayed away from both, no one would find him until morning. He leaned against a tree, praying that his heart would stop thundering soon in his ears.

 _Water. I need to find water_.

Forcing himself to stand up, Q began to carefully move forward, hands out ahead of him to feel his way along the trees. He tilted his head forward, pausing long enough to slip the stolen gun into his belt and to listen for any sounds of water. He leaned against a tree for a moment, breath faintly wheezing as he tried to listen.

He tried not to react aloud when he finally caught the welcome burbling of a nearby brook.

Q approached the water cautiously, especially when he heard a passing car a little farther ahead. When no secret agents or hunters jumped out at him, he finally slipped through the bushes to kneel on the embankment, splashing water on his face to cool down before cupping his hands for a drink. Then he remained still, bowing his head forward so he could catch his breath and calm down long enough to think clearly.

The Eurostar was no longer an option; even if he reached the train station, he had no way of purchasing a ticket or sneaking onboard without his passport. Agents Five through Nine were still missing as well, not to mention the four he hoped he lost in the chase. He’d have to walk the border, unless he snuck back to the hotel for his belongings and what little money he’d left in his satchel.

 _It could work._  He’d have to wait until morning, better see potential pursuers around him. Q felt the gun in his belt, aware that he may have to use it at least once before escaping and that the few lessons from Sherlock may be able to help him.

“…told you we should have brought dogs.”

“If I brought Ilsa and Winston, you would have not only scared Q off, but every living animal in this forest.”

Hushed voices, but audible nonetheless in the stillness. Q jerked up, aware that any sound he made would carry to the agents. James and the receptionist, if he had to guess from the voices. Which left seven agents unaccounted for. He listened to the approaching footsteps, leaning forward to pick up a small rock from the water. Then, when the footsteps paused, he threw it across the river and into the woods, the darkness swallowing it up almost instantly.

_“Fuck!”_

Q froze at the sharp expletive, and then the woman hissed, “ _Lee!_ ” before moving. A loud  _splash_  as she ran by, and then multiple crunches as she disappeared into the woods beyond the brook.

Then Q moved in the opposite direction, heading in what he hoped was the right direction of the chateau. He froze for a split second to listen, and then dodged to the left when he heard the heavier footsteps behind him. He stumbled back a few more steps before turning around a tree, flattening himself against the trunk. A low snarl, and then silence as James paused, finally catching onto the noise around them. Q quietly reached for the gun in his belt, keeping a loose grip on the handgrip, but did not otherwise move as he heard James take a few more steps forward. The other man didn’t seem out of breath— _he must have taken a car_ —and since ‘Lee’ was a new presence, Q suspected he found Agent 5 here in the woods while the hotel employee and Alec remained behind.

 _Click_.

Q felt his stomach drop at the sound of a safety being switched off. The footsteps continued, never straying far from Q’s spot, and Q realized with a horrible jolt that James’s eyes would adjust faster to the dark than Q’s. It was almost game over.

“Q, it doesn’t have to end like this,” James said finally, his voice soft as though they were simply conversing. “Like I said, there’s an alternative. You’re going to end up in the same place regardless, and Mycroft won’t have any power over you. You do have a choice, however, in  _how_  you get there.”

He paused, as though expecting a response, but Q did not grant him one. _Lies, lies, he even said there’s no option in where you’re going, don’t listen-_

“If you went home, you won’t be imprisoned forever. If you vanished, with our help, you could live on your own, independent of any partner,” James continued, moving in what sounded like a broad circle around Q’s hiding spot. “I’m sure your intended would understand, the desire to be on your own. It was all part of the plan anyway, to retrieve an asset out of Mycroft’s reach.”

Q slowly sank to his knees, gritting his teeth against the burn in his chest: _if I’m such an asset, then why the fuck did you pretend that you cared?_ He briefly wondered if his ‘intended’ even wanted to marry in the first place, or that had just been to pacify Mycroft enough into giving Q up.  _No matter what I do, MI6 will get the most out of this. Just go away, 007. Just go away. I don’t want to be anybody’s pawn._

Footsteps. Q tensed, until he recognized the woman’s voice; “Lee’s all right, just took a rock to the head. His skull was thick enough to withstand the blow,” she said in a whisper, James pausing in his walk. “He’s miffed about it if anything, especially since he nearly fell out of his perch from being startled.”

“Call Scarlett, have the others secure the train station, the dockyard, and the few crucial points along the land borders. We may have to wait him out, he won’t last long on his own,” James said, moving away from Q as the two of them moved away towards the chateau. “I’ll call M with a status update when we get back, make sure Lee stays put for now.”

“Well, I’ll bring him something to eat in a few hours then, he was grumbling the most about the lack of food for over twelve hours as we tried to pinpoint potential escape routes earlier today. You know, just like you ordered,” the woman said irritably as their footsteps disappeared in the distance.

Q waited until he felt entirely confident that he could no longer hear them before standing up again. He switched the safety back on before turning and heading back towards the brook, deciding to stay on his current side for the night if ‘Lee’ was camped out on the other side. Sleep was still on the table for debate, especially if he had only a few hours before morning.

He’d just settled down, propped up against a tree when he felt two large, scarred hands wrap around his throat from in front. He froze, reaching for the gun when a horribly familiar voice tutted in disapproval and a clothed knee pressed against his wrist, pinning the gun and his hands against his own lap.

“Gotcha,” James whispered, breath brushing against Q’s neck. “Now, I think we should try this negotiation thing again.”

_Fuck._


	5. Chapter 5

James moved with quiet yet steady efficiency.

“Please don’t struggle, it will make things harder for the two of us,” he said, voice still a whisper even as Q began to pull away and wrestle his hands free. “I don’t want to injure your wrists, but if you keep fighting me, I will do something in order to keep you from fighting me,” he said, keeping one hand around Q’s neck in order to tug the gun out of Q’s hand and toss it over his shoulder, where it landed in the brook with a  _splash_. “M warned your brother that there was a very slim chance that you would come home injured, and he said ‘by whatever means necessary’. I  _really_ don’t want to hurt you, but I will if you force me.”

Q gritted his teeth as James moved long enough to tie his hands together in front. “How the fuck do I know that you’re not just lying to me?” he growled as James pulled him to his feet.

“Because I suspect we’ll have to work together again in the near future, and I’d rather not have any ill will between us at that time,” James said, holding Q’s shoulder to steady him before wrapping an arm around Q’s shoulders to better guide him.

“And my intended? Did he just roll over at Mycroft’s word and is waiting obediently back in London for my return?” Q snarled, tensing when James moved his hand to grip his upper arm.

“ ‘Obedience’ isn’t exactly in your intended’s vocabulary, he disobeys even M from time to time. She was hoping you’d at least give him a reason to return home in a more timely manner,” James said as he led Q around a few stumps, the lights of L’Orangerie de Beauval visible now through the trees. “Help him settle down a little.”

“You know him?” Q asked, curious despite himself. He didn’t know much about the other man, mostly because Mycroft made the arrangements behind Q’s back and didn’t inform him of them until two days before the wedding. He had wondered once or twice what Mycroft said to the MI6 agent, when Q ran away from home. Clearly M had thought it worth to pursue him, the one thing she most likely would ever agree with Mycroft. “Is he angry or upset with me? The other man, that is.”

“Curious, I think, about what aspect of him that you found to be so abhorrent. The borderline alcoholism or promiscuity that comes with his job description,” James said, shifting his grip from Q’s arm to the back of his shirt collar. “Or the violence, that he gives and receives when he heads out. He’s one of the double-ohs out here.”

“Christ…Mycroft said he matched me up with an agent, but didn’t say much else about it,” Q said, glancing up and finding that he could see James better; the agent seemed more tired than angry, but the tight grip on Q’s collar told him that James was most likely attempting to lull him back into complacency. “That doesn’t sound like someone Mycroft would find agreeable in the family, it was a hard sell when Sherlock wanted to settle down with a retired army doctor,” he admitted, trying to relax his shoulders as they approached the chateau. The hotel receptionist— _Tess,_ if Q remembered correctly—was sitting on the back porch, silently watching the two of them approach.

“I think Mycroft was counting on the double-oh’s short lifespan, given the high risk involved with each mission. His death would allow you to freely marry someone higher within the MI6 hierarchy.” Q detected a faint trace of bitterness in James’s tone, and wondered if James was recalling each teammate he had to watch die in the line of fire over the years. “The higher up in the hierarchy you go…”

“The more access to the agency Mycroft has. I know,” Q finished, ducking his head as Tess stood up and followed the two of them into the chateau, into a small, barely-furnished yet elegant parlor that someone cordoned off; he could see the ‘RESERVED’ sign just outside the open door. James sat him down in a chair as Tess closed the parlor door. A third man appeared in the patio door and stood in the middle of the entrance, mouth in a thin line as James moved to stand in front of Q. Q grimaced when he saw the thin cut along the newcomer’s—Lee’s—forehead. Slowly exhaling, he turned back to James, whose blue eyes carefully studied him. Q hadn’t considered the hierarchy angle, and guessed that M must have seen the possibility and warned the agents. Yet… “Why does M want me so badly, regardless of what Mycroft wants?” he asked, recalling the missive in James’s hotel room.

“Because when Mycroft bragged of your abilities in an attempt to entice M to outright hire you, she was interested but wanted to remove Mycroft’s influence from the equation,” James said, remaining still. “All other potential candidates for your hand were gently persuaded away until Mycroft had only five to choose from, three from MI5, two from MI6. And here we are, two weeks later.” Moving from his spot, he glanced at Lee before he said, “However, I mentioned earlier you did have two options.”

“With one outcome,” Q pointed out, stiffening. “Working for MI6.”

“But with different consequences. Option one: you return to London, marry, and then slowly decrease your contact with Mycroft. That way, you can escape his influence and slowly disappear. You would have the added benefit of protection from your partner,” James said, pacing slightly in front of Q. “Your second option is to return to London with us now, and immediately start working for MI6. You will have your own flat, and M will inform Mycroft that we lost track of you. Maybe even keep Alec and me pretending to chase you, so we’ll be out of her hair for a while before the mandatory month passes and you’re written off as ‘missing’.” He paused, tilted his head thoughtfully, and then said, “Of course, we can also simply send you back to Mycroft, call the marriage off, and go our separate ways.”

Q stared at him, wondering if James would lie to him even now. The idea of living alone was appealing, especially if the alternative was going back under Mycroft’s influence.

Yet…

He wondered if he should speak to the intended, give him a chance and see what he was like first before deciding. James had mentioned he was a Double-O, which meant that he would be here in Brussels to help corral Q. He looked up at James, and then quietly asked, “Is there a way I can speak to the intended privately and soon?”

He saw Tess raise an eyebrow before glancing at Lee, who shrugged minutely with one shoulder. James said nothing, merely turned back to Tess. “Fall back to the car, Lee, be ready in case he decides to run,” he said, glancing at both in turn. “Lock the doors on your way out, and Tess, tell Alec I’m almost done here.”

“I’ll also call M with an update, she’s been trying to get details from Will for the last two hours. Five minutes, Bond,” Tess said before turning on a heel and leaving, closing the door behind her. Lee nodded once before leaving as well, leaving Q in the room with just James.

For a moment, neither man said anything. Then James said, “This is about as much privacy as I can give you.”

It took Q a second to catch on. “ _You?_ ” he blurted out, thinking back to every exchange he’d had with James since that morning. He swallowed when he remembered James’s answer when he’d asked if James was married, and thought for a split second that James had made that up to pacify him.

_But he knew that I didn’t know. And wouldn’t have had a reason to lie then, especially if he was going to present a way out that completed the mission objective of bringing me back to London but didn’t involve him._

“Me,” James quietly confirmed.

Q was at a momentary loss for words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for missing yesterday's chapter post, there were critical things going on over here.


	6. Chapter 6

“Why didn’t you say anything when we met on the platform?”

“Wasn’t sure how much you knew, and I didn’t want to spook you too early, not when I only had one other agent to back me up,” James said, moving to pull up a chair in front of Q. “We had agents in all Eurostar stations, and one in Calais just in case you’d given Mycroft the slip and went by ferry instead. For what it’s worth, it took us several hours to locate you and a few more to gently set up positions within Belgium, M wanted to keep you to the country, if not the city.” 

“How long after the row did Mycroft call?” Q asked in a small voice, deflating slightly at the thought of the fast response. He never stood a chance from the start.

“Almost immediately after, he called my flat where Alec was cheating his way through our card game. The three of us—Scarlett was there at the time as well—left immediately. Scarlett came with me to Brussels, she was our waitress at the café,” James explained quietly, sitting down beside Q.

Q would have never noticed or remembered her if James hadn’t mentioned anything. “Why, so she could see me?” he asked, bristling slightly.

“Yes. Needed visual confirmation, and I had just destroyed my earpiece since I thought we were both mature enough to not need any supervisors to eavesdrop on our conversation,” James said, raising a hand as though to reach for Q, but stopped almost immediately and lowered his hand again. “I never once lied to you, throughout our conversations. Withheld information, yes, but such is the nature of working at MI6,” he said, instead reaching for Q’s bound hands and wrapping them in his own.

Q’s mouth twitched. “Is withholding information a common practice?” he asked carefully, unsure if he could live with James if he knew the other man was keeping secrets from him. He was already at a disadvantage, potentially living with a stranger who proved he could outmatch Q.

“Only as much as you want it to be. Although most agents and techs decide that poking where they’re unwanted is something to do to kill time. It’s an exercise in discretion and training to keep secrets, and some make a point to find out as much as they can. You’re always surrounded by spies as it is,” James replied, glancing out the glass doors to the patio outside. Then he turned to Q, and said, “What is it that you wanted to speak about privately?”

Q ducked his head in slight embarrassment. “I, um, wanted to know who the other person was before I made a decision,” he admitted, looking back at James, who watched him carefully. “About whether to return to London alone or with him, because I’m sure as hell not going back to Mycroft.”

James was quiet for a moment. “I should warn you, I’m not an easy person to live with. I drink, I kill, and I fuck while abroad. One day, I won’t come back,” he said quietly, and Q swallowed nervously as James’s hands gently pressed Q’s together. “You would do your work in the Technical Services Station, but at home, you could tinker during your off hours or do whatever you like. When I’m home, we can go out into the city to put on an appearance, I suspect that Mycroft will continue to observe us to make sure M won’t dupe him.”

“And if I choose to live alone?” Q asked carefully, watching James as the agent looked down.

“Then you will live in a flat of your choosing, probably in a building that already has MI6 employees living there. Depending on where Major Boothroyd decides to place you, you may never have to see another double-oh again, only the senior techs are trusted around the agents because of the agents’ volatile temperaments.”

Q was quiet for a moment. “And you have a volatile temperament?” he asked.

James smirked before leaning forward. “One of the worst,” he confessed, warm breath brushing teasingly across Q’s skin before he let Q’s hands slide free before standing up. “Now, we should-”

“Why did you agree to appear as a candidate, if you knew that M was using the arranged marriage as a way to get me?” Q asked, stopping James in his tracks. “Did you do it under orders?”

“No. I’ve already told you why I volunteered when we first met. But I saw your desperation in escape, and I don’t like coercing others when I’m off the clock. God knows I do enough of that already in missions, I don’t want it in my home also,” James said before picking his chair up and moving it back to its original position.

“Does M know you offered an alternative to the marriage?” Q asked, frowning as the possibility occurred to him.

“She doesn’t give a damn about what we do as long as you return to London,” James replied mildly as he walked back to Q and knelt, pulling out a thin knife from his boot. “We’ll leave for London immediately, you have five hours to think it over before we arrive,” he added before using the knife to cut the ties around Q’s wrists. “Alec will retrieve your belongings from the hotel and meet up with us in London.” He didn’t let go of Q either, keeping a firm hand on the back of Q’s neck before steering him towards the parlor door.

Q stiffened, but followed, aware that while James offered him a way out of what had the threat of becoming a loveless partnership, something he definitely  _didn’t_  want, he also risked losing something fragile that could grow later on. He wouldn’t have to always check over his shoulder as much if married, but at the same time, he didn’t know what to expect from James. Hell, it all still boiled down to Q not knowing enough about James to simply  _plunge_  ahead into a decision.

“James?” he finally asked, tilting his head slightly to better see the man.

“Mm?”

“Where will you be if I said no?”

James hummed thoughtfully before he said, “Nothing will change for me. You would have more freedom if you went ahead with the marriage, you wouldn’t have to worry about your brother catching you—and us—out in a lie. I won’t hinder you, I won’t be home most of the time anyway. But if you’re alone, M will be less inclined to be letting you roam around on your own in London, you may not like being cooped up inside the flat or work after some time, and there won’t be a way to change your mind without Mycroft catching on and starting another shit storm over you. You’re extremely valuable to him as a bargaining tool, as I’m sure you’re aware.”

Q nodded, aware that James was right about Mycroft. He knew that his five hours were ticking, and slumped his shoulders forward as James led him out of the chateau and towards the car, energy slowly draining from his limbs. His mouth suddenly ran dry at the thought of what could possibly wait for him in London. Five hours was nowhere near enough time, yet it was all he had left.

_I don't know if I can do this._


	7. Chapter 7

_“Stop the car now!_ ”

To her credit, 009 didn’t react violently to the unexpected order, much less to the fact that it was Q who said it, but simply pulled over on the shoulder of the highway that would lead to the Chunnel. James, however, remained close to Q’s side as Q scrambled out of the car, the bile rising unforgivingly in his throat. As soon as he was outside and onto scrabbly grass, Q threw up, the nausea from the ball of anxiety that had sat in his stomach for the last three hours finally catching up to him. His body shivered as James wrapped an arm around his waist and braced him, and he heard another set of footsteps on the gravel nearby as Lee moved to cut off a potential escape route. James calmly removed his glasses right before the next dry heave, and remained quiet even as he gently rubbed Q’s back. Q felt weak with terror as he thought of what could be waiting for him in London: Mycroft or M, both with their own sets of restrictions.

“James…James, I can’t do this,” he whispered, blinking when someone pressed a cool wet cloth to his forehead. “Is…isn’t there a way we can do this where I go live in peace and I can just _be_ without anyone telling me what I can and can’t do?”

“No, I’m sorry. If it’s not Mycroft or MI6, it will be the Americans or someone with more deadly intentions. You’ll need to earn money, may find a respectable job, but you’ll always be looking over your shoulder for either Mycroft or us, acting on M’s orders. Someone could take you, force you to do risky commissions in exchange for survival, which would lead to a chance that I or someone else may be under orders to kill you if you were tricked into causing harm to a nation,” James said quietly, still absently rubbing Q’s back. “Your chances of survival would rapidly decrease the longer you were out there, and that goes for myself and any other agent cut loose from his or her organization. At least at MI6, you have a chance to make it on your own.” He leaned back for a moment, his hand still on Q’s back as he said, “Lee, do you or Tess have water in the car?”

“Tess! In the pocket on the passenger side, there should be a half-full bottle!” Lee called, shifting slightly as Q sank to his knees and James pulled him back a step or two.”

Q felt James lean forward again, resting his chin on Q’s shoulder. “Why are you scared? Just tell me why you’re frightened, and we’ll try to find a way to fix each thing.”

Q twisted to stare at him. “I have to choose between Mycroft, M and you,” he said bluntly, watching mild curiosity mask whatever emotion James hid in his eyes. “That is what you’re asking of me. I know I don’t want to go back to Mycroft, I don’t want to be M’s pawn, and I just _don’t know you that well_ ,” he said, barely able to keep the frustration out of his voice.

James moved long enough to reach for the offered water bottle and pass it over to Q. “Rinse your mouth out first, and then drink. This is what I suggest then, from an operation standpoint. Marry me, and then everything else can move at your pace: fast, slow, or not at all,” he said as Q slowly sipped from the bottle. “We can approach the living situation as if we were flatmates, I have a guest room in mine and I can move in there. I don’t immediately return home anyway after missions, so I won’t disturb you even when I decide to show up after all. The only catch is that we do have to put on appearances for Mycroft, and that might involve a little more touching than you may be comfortable with.”

“Like _what_?” Q whispered, brow furrowing as he stared at James.

He jumped a second later, when James swiftly leaned in and brushed a light kiss against his skin. “Like that,” he said when he pulled back. “And you’ll have the freedom to do as you please even when I’m back. One of my stipulations to Mycroft in this agreement was little to no interference in our lives. Originally, that’s because M didn’t want Mycroft anywhere _near_ MI6 operations. Now, it can help you. If in a year, you still want to be free of the marriage, we’ll break it off quietly. No need for a fuss, and by then, you’ll be too entrenched in MI6 operations for Mycroft to try and reach you.”

“You know Sherlock will want to keep an eye on me as well,” Q said nervously, slightly surprised when James leaned forward to rest his forehead against Q’s. “He actually lives in London, he may not tell Mycroft anything but he’ll want to know out of pure curiosity.”

“Then you can deal with him. I’ve already met him once and he annoys me to no end. If you think I’m not treating you well, then, you can bring his or Mycroft’s wrath down on my back, that’s my incentive to behave,” James said, smirking once before stepping back, gently pulling Q up with him. Q glanced to the side to find Lee standing nearby while Tess stood at another angle, the car behind him and James. _They’re not taking chances_.

“And if I don’t want to, um, after the ceremony…” Q began slowly, completely unsure of how to articulate himself with two witnesses present.

“Then as far as anyone but the four of us know, we did as expected. But we won’t in reality, and I’ll have to let Alec in on the secret as well so he can help maintain the charade. I highly doubt Mycroft would be very interested in that, anyway; it’s a mere formality, at this point, to ‘seal’ the agreement,” James said, gently herding Q towards the car again.

“And I should trust you because?” Q asked, twisting slightly to escape James’s grip to better face the agent.

“Because I dislike lying or any kind of subterfuge in my personal life. I will not tolerate any of it,” James said, his eyes hardening for a moment. “If I had one demand from you, that would be it. Extreme, I understand, for an agent who makes his living in lies, but I did want to be with someone I know wouldn’t lie to me and at the very least try not to kill me at the first opportunity. I can easily give you the same courtesy to an extent, given M’s penchant for need-to-know information.”

Q stared at him, still caught on one word. “Kill you?” he repeated.

“You’d be surprised at how many people have tried that over the years. If I have any say in it though, no one will threaten you, they won’t even know unless I make a careless error,” James said, keeping a casual but firm grip on Q’s shoulder as he opened the car door for Q. “It won’t be horrible Q, I’m not going to try to make your life miserable. You may even like it at MI6, it’s a challenging environment but the people in TSS are friendly. From what I understand, anyway, they don’t like me very much.”

“Why’s that?” Q asked, pausing before he got in.

“I break their toys. Frequently. Major Boothroyd hates me for it, and the rest follow his example,” James said, smirking before nudging Q forward.

Q didn’t say anything at first, just slid into the seat as Tess moved into the driver’s seat, Lee and James getting in after her. Running a tired hand through his hair, he glanced at James and whispered, “I can change my mind at any point, right?”

James nodded. “Build your support network first, safe houses and backup accounts, and then you can disappear with no one the wiser,” he said, eyes softening for a split second.

“And the ceremony will be quick?”

“As fast as we can make it without being rude about it,” James said, grinning softly now as he leaned over and brushed a light kiss across Q’s forehead before encouraging him to lean on James’s side. “For now, get some rest. I suspect that in order to get the drop on us earlier tonight, you didn’t sleep much. We’re used to pulling these hours, but I suspect you’re not.”

Q nodded, trying to slow his heart and think of anything other than their arrival to London.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it for _Help Me Disappear_! This final chapter is actually a rewrite of the original ending posted to my Tumblr (I was never completely satisfied with the original ending) but the major points and outcome remain the same.
> 
> Thank you all so much for your comments/bookmarks/kudos on this story, I greatly appreciate the support :)
> 
> Mistflyer


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